Monday, February 16, 2015

Days and Daze


The past few nights we have ended up passing through years of photos on the computer. Watching time go by click by click, unable to pry ourselves away without a tug. There are so many to go through. I read here and here about nostalgia and happiness. It is interesting to me how days can feel hard, stuck, dark although looking back they are light, joyful, airy.


I like to look back, it gives me a feeling that life is full and I am not stuck. Some of the photos may just be a tree, a buried head in Hank's sun warmed fur, a common ferry ride; but they evoke a strong memory and forgotten emotion from such a quiet angle.


We are in movement and the days can feel like a daze but nothing is lost.
It's all right here, right in front of us.


7/52


A photo of my boo, every week, in the year 2015.  See more here.

We spend a lot of time in our yard these days. If you are upset, we go outside and all is better. 
You pick teeny tiny wild violets and offer them to Hank.  
You find a piece of wood and carry it all around.  
You pick up little rocks and carry them tightly in your fists. 
You point up to the sky at a bird, and mimic the dog barking next door.  
You find your ball and say "Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball!"

6/52


A photo of my boo, every week, in the year 2015.  See more here.

no words. just very sweet. 



Saturday, February 7, 2015

Girl Talk // Girl Run



Sawyer and I had our first solo trip up to Bainbridge Island. He discovered the beach. I basically had to pry him away.  He would have been content to never leave, set up a tent and just live down there. We'd have to eat kelp for breakfast but I think he'd be into that sort of thing.


Since we got in the car to head home, this poor little guy has been non-stop living in sad town. He is cutting some serious molars. Only wanting to be held by me, eating nothing, prefers nursing every single second, and only gives hugs to Hank. In this photo he is holding a portable jam box. We put on his favorite songs and he wanders around, happily singing his own sweet song. This is the only thing that makes him happy these days.

Today is Day 3 of this situation. He was clinging to my legs as I tried to get some blueberries out of the freezer for him (which he would eventually throw, each one individually, onto the floor for Hank to go bananas over and for me to feel sad over. Because they are really good blueberries) I had an epiphany.

I had to go for a run right that second. Seriously. I ran into the other room and relayed this information to Dean, grabbed the same running pants I've had for the past 10 years which are hideous electric-blue-shiny-spandex, kissed the baby goodbye and fled out the door. No time for the suggested "warm -up walk" bullshit. I hit the ground running. After a few minutes, I remembered it has been nearly 2 years since I ran; I better stop sprinting like I was running for my life and take it easy. I listened to Girl Talk and couldn't help but half dance / half run. Why isn't this a normal thing to do? The rain was coming down like I was in a movie; it was glorious. I was throwing fists in the air, laughing, high kicking, side kicking. I had to hold myself back from giving high fives to everyone I passed. At one point I had to pass a couple walking on the trail down to the lake.  I was barely running faster than they were walking so it felt ridiculous to pass them. But probably better than running in slow motion directly behind them. So I picked up my pace a little and confidently swept passed them.  Like, no big deal, I'm a runner. I was so distracted that I didn't quite see the biggest puddle ever just ahead. Over my shoes big. I just kept running. It was a really good time.


Monday, February 2, 2015

5/52


A photo of my boo, every week, in the year 2015.  See more here.

You are a tender heart.  Feeling the world these days with all of its emotions.
Playing little jokes. Peeking thru the crack in the fridge door
when it is opened and I am looking for something in there.
You wait for me to see you and you scrunch a sneaky smile.